5 Tips To Inner Confidence

Three Teenagers

1. Stop The Comparisons

One of the quickest ways to lower your self-esteem is to compare yourself unfavourably with others.  It is so much better to compete with yourself!  When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, remember that we all walk our own path in life, and have our own challenges and being in someone else’s shoes might not be such a good fit.  STOP the comparisons and start to make a list of everything you have to be grateful for in your life. You are an amazing person because YOU ARE UNIQUE.  There’s no one else quite like you.

2. Put Your Mind Into Solution Mode

Often when we move out of our comfort zone and attempt something new a little voice in our head will say, “I can’t do this”, “it will never work”, “I’m not clever enough”, “creative enough”, “talented enough”.   The goal of this inner voice is to keep us safe and  to protect us from harm, unfortunately however, this voice is often being over cautious and can actually stop us from taking action towards our goals and dreams. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy – our inner voice tells us something’s not going to work out so we don’t even attempt to start it thus avoiding any uncomfortable feelings of having to learn or practice something new, so we never build up those confidence muscles and this leaves us feeling lacking in confidence, unfulfilled and dissatisfied. It’s like going round in circles.

The key to getting off that particular merry go round and to overcome this negative inner chatter is:

  • first of all to notice it. Sometimes we can have all these negative comments going round in our heads without being really aware of them and how they are stopping us from actually taking any action towards our goals.
  • put your mind into solution mode by looking for ways to support yourself in whatever you want to do; for example: if you wanted to write a book and your inner critic was telling you that you’d never be able to do this because you’re not talented enough or creative enough so you never even get started then ask yourself: “How can I resolve this”?   Your mind will then start to look for ways to support you in your task; e.g.:  You could take a writing course, you could read inspirational stories of how other authors began their careers.
  • forget perfect and accept that you might not get it right first time.  Personally, I find that accepting that I might fail at something and that it doesn’t have to be perfect right away  is kind of like a relief!  It takes the pressure off so you might as well have a go anyway because you have nothing to lose!  I think that not even trying is the real failure.

3. Make A List Of Your Achievements

When we’re feeling low we can often forget just how much we have accomplished.  We discount or under value many of our achievements as not being big enough or important enough.  Many people never stop to review and acknowledge their own achievements. As a result they have a skewed view of themselves and their potential.

So I invite you now to set aside all modesty and write down a list of all your achievements both personally and professionally. Take time now to think about everything you have achieved in your whole life starting from when you were a child and learned to walk and talk to being an adult and learning to drive, and getting your first job.

4. Identify Your Strengths

Realising what your strengths are will raise your confidence.  When we lack confidence then often we can only see our weaknesses.  Try this exercise to give yourself a confidence boost. Pick five people whom you respect, at least two who know you in a work capacity, and ask each of them to tell you what they believe are your three greatest strengths.  Give them time to think about it and make a written note of what they tell you.  Then pick three of these strengths that strike you as both true and enjoyable and think of an example of where you used that strength.

5.  Just Do It!

Following on from Point 2 above, often people will put off doing something or say that they can’t do something because they lack confidence.  The irony is that to build up self-confidence you have to actually DO the thing you most fear.  Trying something new or taking a small risk  can actually build up your inner confidence. Remember the greatest artists, entrepreneurs, writers and musicians started off as learners.  You will be a success because you tried!   What have you been putting off?  Decide now to make a start, and try something new today.

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~ by Sandstorm on June 30, 2009.

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