Break Out Of Your Shell

Summer at the beachDoes your shyness make you feel uncomfortable in social situations?  Try these 5 tips to help you to break out of your shell.

1. Ask Questions

People like to be asked about themselves, it shows that you are taking an interest and it makes the other person feel valued.  Before your next social engagement think of a few open ended questions that you can ask. There are tons of icebreakers, e.g.: How was your journey? Hello, how are things with you?   Try to avoid questions where there is just a yes or no answer.   If you put your focus and attention over on to the other person then you are less likely to be thinking about how shy you are feeling.

2. Become a Good Listener

There is nothing quite like a great conversation with someone where they are listening intently to what you are saying.  The next time you are speaking to someone, make a point of really listening to what they have to say.  If someone is telling you about something that happened in his or her life resist the temptation to jump in with your own example.  Your shyness will soon dissolve as you become engrossed in their story.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Often when we feel shy we can start to make assumptions about how other people perceive us.  We can assume that other people are judging us negatively or we assume that other people are more interesting, more talented more confident than we are, so we clam up, or walk away from a potential great friendship. Let go of any assumptions or limiting beliefs you have about yourself and start today to look for evidence of what a magnificent person you really are.

4. Practice With Strangers

The next time you are in a supermarket queue practice engaging in small talk with the cashier or person standing next to you.  Practising with complete strangers who you are never likely to meet again can help you to overcome your shyness and give you more confidence.

5. Give Yourself A Confidence Boost

To give yourself a confidence boost, set all modesty aside and write down 50 things that you like about yourself – strengths, talents, attributes, and skills.  These could be anything from: being kind to animals, being a great driver, being a good mum or having excellent computer skills.   Don’t stop until you fill up a page.  People who are shy often unconsciously put themselves down and it’s important to get a more realistic picture of who you really are.

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~ by Sandstorm on June 25, 2009.

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